怎样成为恋爱中的“常胜将军”?

怎样成为恋爱中的“常胜将军”? 在感情中情绪受了伤,有人愤愤不平,诉诸大众媒体,要求公道;有人伤心不已,结束自己生命,获得解救;而有人嫉妒难耐,挥刀杀害爱人,以达报复;也有人反悔共享,出手消灭情敌,来求圆满。  “谁教他(她)这样子对我呢?”这是当事人一致的想法。  也因此,心中的愤怒、伤心、嫉妒以及挫折等情绪,就纠结而成了一股骇人的攻击能量,在理性崩溃的那一刻,造成了永难弥补的伤害。  到底该如何看待爱情,才能避免爆发这些惨烈的结局呢?  首先,先得认识爱情。  大部分的人都忘了,或者根本不知道,谈恋爱其实是有着比“找结婚对象”更为重要的目的。  从心理学的角度来看,与别人建立亲密的人际关系,是我们发展出健全成熟人格的重要过程。也就是说,谈恋爱,其实是有着重要的心理任务的。  * 心理任务一:了解自己  借着跟另一半亲密的互动,我们才更能发觉有关自己的种种心境:  “喔,原来我比想象中来得容易吃醋。”  “看来,我真的很讨厌别人管我太多。”  “天啊,我居然是个凡事要求别人听话的人。”  如此这般的一来一往,对自己的认识增加,自我的轮廓也就逐渐清晰了起来。  * 心理任务二:培养爱人的能力  在跟另一半共度生活中的琐碎细节时,我们也会学到“爱人”的真正意义:  “原来我不能只顾自己的喜恶,也需尊重他的想法。”  “也许有时候,适度的妥D­甚至牺牲,是完全必要的。”  当我们了解了如何跟另一个人长期亲密地相处,也就提升了自己爱人的能力了。  所以,爱情的输赢,不是看最后手上有没有多了一枚结婚戒指,若真要在爱情中论成败,该看的是有没有完成这两项爱情的心理任务。  只要在这次感情经验中,我们更了解了自己,也培养出更好的爱人能力,那么,即使分手说拜拜,也该好好庆祝一番,因为任务圆满达成,自己又朝“成熟”迈前了一大步,成为一个条件更好,而更令人无法抗拒的迷人伴侣了,下一份精彩的感情经验,肯定指日可待。  反之,就算唱起结婚进行曲,两个人却混混沌沌地相处,甚至勉强维持着空洞的婚姻关系,那么说老实话,这桩感情其实是失败的。  因此,失婚(恋)不等于失败,而成婚也不意味着成功。  所以,在你一头栽入感情世界之时,也请别忘了想想这两项心理任务,那么就不会因失恋而感到失败,只要任务完成,你就是赢家!

Treatment of senile insomnia

Treatment of senile insomnia The incidence of insomnia in the elderly has a little relationship with the mental and ideological factors in terms of etiology and pathogenesis. Unlike the young and middle-aged people, it is mainly caused by heavy mental burden, excessive thinking and blood-stasis, so its therapeutic significance is in the middle.Youth insomnia, the […]

Winter disease, summer treatment, acupoint application, summer solstice

Winter disease, summer treatment, acupoint application, summer solstice What is acupoint application for winter disease and summer treatment? “Winter disease” refers to a disease that occurs or aggravates in autumn and winter. Traditional Chinese medicine believes that it is related to cold evil and insufficient body yang. Patients often have chronic illness. After winter, the […]

Eating Tremella can lower blood pressure

Eating Tremella can lower blood pressure Modern nutrition research has found that Tremella polysaccharide has antithrombotic function and can protect the cardiovascular and cerebrovascular. Therefore, those with hypertension, arteriosclerosis, hyperlipidemia, and fundus arterial hemorrhage often take adjuvant treatment.   Glutinous rice Tremella Sydney porridge method: 30 grams of glutinous rice, 30 grams of white fungus (water), […]

Prolonged depression easily leads to sexual division

Prolonged depression easily leads to sexual division “Abnormal sexual behavior is what people usually call sexual substitution. It is not a mental illness, but a mental illness. Ren Lanzhen said that sexual metamorphosis is medically defined as sexual impulsive disorder and distortion of sexual objects, that is, different from ordinary people in the way of […]

Student holiday budget must balance snacks and choose time to eat nutrition

Student holiday budget must balance snacks and choose time to eat nutrition Core tip: Students are on vacation. Most students temporarily suspend their meals at school. This makes many parents feel it is difficult to take care of their children’s three meals a day. The editors below have collected diet suggestions from nutrition experts for […]

Top 6 Longevity Habits

Top 6 Longevity Habits For longevity, daily habits may be more important than genes.   1. Multi-contact animals and pets provide friendship and warmth to the elderly, so that the elderly can talk to them, so as to release stress. People with more contact with pets can have stable blood pressure, hypertension and triglyceride levels. Dr. […]